In this issue, the Windhorse begins a series of interviews with sangha members sharing their experiences of integrating the dharma into their lives. Our first interview features a Brazilian couple, of the Khadro Ling sangha, whose pure-heartedness has deeply impressed their fellow practitioners. Monica and Trajano Arantes de Oliveira met Rinpoche in 1992 while attending a workshop in Belo Horizonte. Before that, they had been very interested in Buddhism but had found little opportunity to learn anything about it. For some time they worked as project coordinators at a home for abused and homeless children in Rio de Janeiro. They presently make their home near Khadro Ling with their children, Priscilla, André, and Laura.
Windhorse: How did you first get involved with the homeless children?
Trajano: While we were living in Belo Horizonte, we heard about an Austrian-based institution in Rio that cared for abandoned children, and when we applied for jobs there, they asked us to move to Rio to become project coordinators. In Rio de Janeiro there are many favelas (slums) where the very poor live. One favela is the size of a city; 600,000 people live there. The drug chiefs of the favelas, called trafficants, are very powerful people; they decide everything within their jurisdiction. It is impossible for either the police or the army to even get into certain favelas. These are very dangerous places. There is constant fighting, with people shot every day. When we first arrived in Rio, we often heard gunshots from fights between the police and the drug traffickers, and we became very frightened. We never imagined that people lived like this, or that we would ever find ourselves living in such a place. Often I had to go to the favelas in the middle of the night to rescue children from violent situations like being burned by cigarettes, being tied up for days, or seeing their mother killed by the man she lived with. We couldn’t even get into these places without the chief trafficant’s permission. It was dangerous to go there, but fortunately nothing bad ever happened to us.
It was very inspiring to work with the children. The situation was unique in that we lived inside the project with the children. The project community was made up of several houses with a housemother and group of children in each. When the children would first arrive, we were often moved to tears seeing how neglected and abused they had been. But in time, with love, they became healthy and happy. Seeing this happen to the children was what made the work so rewarding for us. Monica also coordinated a school where pediatricians and psychologists trained the women who took care of them.
Monica: The day Rinpoche visited the children was very beautiful. Usually they were wild—it was impossible to get them to sit still or keep quiet. But when Rinpoche was there, the children sat very quietly and listened. He spoke to them for more than two hours, telling stories. He taught them how to recite mantra and told them that if they were afraid of something, they should pray to Tara.
The children often asked about Rinpoche after that. We tried introducing other religious teachers to them, because we felt it was important for them to have some spiritual connection, but the only person they really liked, who was warm and loving and gave them the attention they needed, was Rinpoche.
Windhorse: What about your own children?
Monica: After being together for five years Trajano and I still hadn’t had children, so I decided to see a doctor. After I had made this decision, a friend of ours mentioned that she knew of a woman who was pregnant but did not want to keep her child. This woman had already given away four of her children and had aborted four others, so this was her ninth. Our friend asked us if we wanted the baby. At the time, I was still intent on finding out why I had never gotten pregnant. Also, my mother was dying of cancer and I wanted to be with her. For these reasons I told the friend we were not interested. But later, when I spoke with Trajano about it, we realized that we might be closing the door on someone who needed us and we decided to take the child. That first child was André, and a couple of years later we adopted Laura. I never went back to the doctor to see whether I had a problem. Adoption has been so fantastic for us that we have decided to have children only in this way.
Windhorse: Is adoption a common practice in Brazil?
Trajano: No, it isn’t, and if people do adopt, they usually want children who look just like they do so that no one knows the children are adopted. In the institution where we worked, most Brazilians interested in adopting wanted beautiful, white babies. Adoptions by people from abroad, especially Europeans, were much more common, and the adoptive parents didn’t care about the children’s age, color, or gender. They adopted because of the children’s needs rather than their own.
Monica: While we were waiting for André’s birth, of course we knew very little about him, and our family and friends said, “You don’t know the baby’s color, or whether the child will be born healthy or with many problems.” We replied that our own children could just as easily be born with problems and that if this baby needed our help we would offer it. I don’t see how people can base their decision about whether or not to adopt a child upon its beauty or health.
Windhorse: What about your older children?
Monica: While we were working with the children in Rio de Janeiro, we formed very close relationships with four of the teenagers—three boys and one girl. When we decided to move to Três Coroas to be near Rinpoche, we had adopted only André and Laura, but the four older kids were very unhappy about being left behind. In our hearts we knew that if we left them there they would go back to the streets and have no chance in life, so we decided to bring them here. Soon after deciding this, we realized that we might need to find other work because it would be difficult to support six children on our retirement income. When we telephoned Rinpoche to tell him that we might not be able to move to Três Coroas because of this, he told us not to worry, to come anyway, that if we needed help he would help us. If we needed a place to stay we could stay with him. As it turned out that was not necessary, but we were very grateful for, and touched by, his offer.
When they first came to us, these children didn’t know anything about simple hygiene such as using toilets or taking a shower. They moved here in December and we knew they were Christians, so we decorated a tree for them. But they didn’t know what it was—they used it for hanging up their clothes.
Trajano: It was like they came from another planet. They had never lived in a house with more than one room. A month would go by before they changed their clothes or showered. And what made it even more difficult was that they were not young children. They had lived on the streets and had been involved in gangs that stole cars, and robbed and assaulted people. We had no idea what would happen in our home with André, Laura, and Monica while I was away at work, but for some time everything was good. We made great efforts to keep them here. Unfortunately, after a while they wanted to leave because here there were rules. They missed the pleasures of the streets such as getting food without working and not having to go to school, and that made it impossible to keep them here with us.
Monica: After five months, two of the boys decided to go back. The third had to leave because he was stealing knives, putting stones above the doors, taking money, and lying to us. Trajano took all three boys back to Rio and made sure they were settled in good situations. Since then, we have heard from all of them. They are not on the streets. They are working and studying, but when they turn eighteen they have to go back to the streets, and because they are behind in their schooling, we worry about what will happen to them.
Trajano: Priscilla, the girl, is 17. She wants to stay with us, but her mother wants her back. In fact, just yesterday I received word from a judge in Rio de Janeiro demanding that we send her back. The last time Priscilla visited her mother she was forced to rob a supermarket with her. Last February, while Monica was attending the Dzogchen retreat and I was alone with the children, this woman, who carries weapons, came to our home, on the run from a drug chief. She refused to leave. It was extremely difficult for Monica knowing that she was in the house with the children. There were a few very intense days before I was finally able to put her on a bus back to Rio.
Windhorse: Has the Khadro Ling sangha been supportive of your family?
Monica: Yes, they have been. But the sangha is not used to having children around. We understand this, because before we had our own, we didn’t have much patience with children.
Trajano: We try to make everyone happy. I believe the kids need to come here, even if they are a little disruptive, because it’s very important for them to be around the dharma and see people practicing. We try to make it fun for them without bothering too many people.
The other day André asked me, “Why do we use a disinfectant to clean the floor?” and I answered, “To kill bacteria.” He said, “No, you can’t say you are killing bacteria. You can say you are chasing them away but don’t say that you are killing them. Remember your karma.”
Monica: They like the dharma so much. In our home when we see a dead animal, even as small as a mosquito, we have a funeral. We pray and recite mantra, and I ex- plain to them what we are doing. I often see them praying for animals they have found. When they see people fishing, they pray for the people and the fish. These children are experiencing a very different life now, and it is inspiring to see the changes in them. When we argue with them or say something harsh, they say, “Your karma is going very bad, because you are making me suffer.” It is good to be reminded by them.
Windhorse: You have both been helping with the lha khang construction as well as with accounts and sewing projects at Khadro Ling. What other work are you responsible for within Chagdud Gonpa Brasil?
Trajano: At present, I am the treasurer, and Rinpoche has asked us to become involved with two other projects. The first is to coordinate Mahakaruna in Brazil, which will involve finding Brazilian sponsors for Buddhist practitioners in Asia.
Windhorse: Is it customary for Brazilians to offer this kind of support?
Trajano: No. It is very hard to get people to help. When we worked in the institution in Rio, we survived on donations, which was very difficult. No one wanted to help. The things people donated were in such poor condition that they were almost unusable. Ninety-two percent of the money the institution received came from other countries, mostly European. We had a strong marketing plan and media coverage, but even so, it was extremely difficult to raise money because, as I said, Brazil doesn’t have a tradition of making donations to charitable causes. Besides, no one really trusts these institutions because, unfortunately, many of them are poorly managed or corrupt. Our other work is a social program called “Harmonia” that Rinpoche has asked us to develop in order to help the community around Khadro Ling. We hope to create a place where people of all ages can come for free medical and dental care, as well as professional advice about proper land use and how to make an income from the land. Illiteracy is widespread among poor rural adults, so an important aspect of the project would be teaching them to read and write. Many young people leave the rural areas for the cities, only to find marginal living situations where they must become prostitutes or thieves in order to survive. We want to help them stay in the country. This program is being developed in association with Três Coroas City Hall and a government department called Emater. The prefecture has given us the use of a vacant school in town for the project. Monica hopes to work with both women and children, providing the women with information about the proper care of babies, as well as about drug abuse, birth control, and disease prevention. We would also like to teach art to the children. We have asked doctors and other skilled persons within the sangha if they will volunteer once or twice a week to help get the project started. The Harmonia project takes a somewhat different approach than most Buddhist organizations. Traditionally, there has not been much focus in these organizations on social projects and issues. But Rinpoche believes that such efforts can truly benefit the many poor people in Brazil. Harmonia can also be a doorway to Buddhism for individuals who make a spiritual connection through the project. Monica: We know that this isn’t the most important thing we can do for people who are suffering. The dharma is the best we can offer them, because only the dharma will benefit them on an ultimate level and completely free them from their suffering. But we can also benefit beings on a more relative level as we do through this project. Making this kind of offering is our dharma practice.
In this issue, the Windhorse begins a series of interviews with sangha members sharing their experiences of integrating the dharma into their lives. Our first interview features a Brazilian couple, of the Khadro Ling sangha, whose pure-heartedness has deeply impressed their fellow practitioners. Monica and Trajano Arantes de Oliveira met Rinpoche in 1992 while attending a workshop in Belo Horizonte. Before that, they had been very interested in Buddhism but had found little opportunity to learn anything about it. For some time they worked as project coordinators at a home for abused and homeless children in Rio de Janeiro. They presently make their home near Khadro Ling with their children, Priscilla, André, and Laura.
Windhorse: How did you first get involved with the homeless children?
Trajano: While we were living in Belo Horizonte, we heard about an Austrian-based institution in Rio that cared for abandoned children, and when we applied for jobs there, they asked us to move to Rio to become project coordinators. In Rio de Janeiro there are many favelas (slums) where the very poor live. One favela is the size of a city; 600,000 people live there. The drug chiefs of the favelas, called trafficants, are very powerful people; they decide everything within their jurisdiction. It is impossible for either the police or the army to even get into certain favelas. These are very dangerous places. There is constant fighting, with people shot every day. When we first arrived in Rio, we often heard gunshots from fights between the police and the drug traffickers, and we became very frightened. We never imagined that people lived like this, or that we would ever find ourselves living in such a place. Often I had to go to the favelas in the middle of the night to rescue children from violent situations like being burned by cigarettes, being tied up for days, or seeing their mother killed by the man she lived with. We couldn’t even get into these places without the chief trafficant’s permission. It was dangerous to go there, but fortunately nothing bad ever happened to us.
It was very inspiring to work with the children. The situation was unique in that we lived inside the project with the children. The project community was made up of several houses with a housemother and group of children in each. When the children would first arrive, we were often moved to tears seeing how neglected and abused they had been. But in time, with love, they became healthy and happy. Seeing this happen to the children was what made the work so rewarding for us. Monica also coordinated a school where pediatricians and psychologists trained the women who took care of them.
Monica: The day Rinpoche visited the children was very beautiful. Usually they were wild—it was impossible to get them to sit still or keep quiet. But when Rinpoche was there, the children sat very quietly and listened. He spoke to them for more than two hours, telling stories. He taught them how to recite mantra and told them that if they were afraid of something, they should pray to Tara.
The children often asked about Rinpoche after that. We tried introducing other religious teachers to them, because we felt it was important for them to have some spiritual connection, but the only person they really liked, who was warm and loving and gave them the attention they needed, was Rinpoche.
Windhorse: What about your own children?
Monica: After being together for five years Trajano and I still hadn’t had children, so I decided to see a doctor. After I had made this decision, a friend of ours mentioned that she knew of a woman who was pregnant but did not want to keep her child. This woman had already given away four of her children and had aborted four others, so this was her ninth. Our friend asked us if we wanted the baby. At the time, I was still intent on finding out why I had never gotten pregnant. Also, my mother was dying of cancer and I wanted to be with her. For these reasons I told the friend we were not interested. But later, when I spoke with Trajano about it, we realized that we might be closing the door on someone who needed us and we decided to take the child. That first child was André, and a couple of years later we adopted Laura. I never went back to the doctor to see whether I had a problem. Adoption has been so fantastic for us that we have decided to have children only in this way.
Windhorse: Is adoption a common practice in Brazil?
Trajano: No, it isn’t, and if people do adopt, they usually want children who look just like they do so that no one knows the children are adopted. In the institution where we worked, most Brazilians interested in adopting wanted beautiful, white babies. Adoptions by people from abroad, especially Europeans, were much more common, and the adoptive parents didn’t care about the children’s age, color, or gender. They adopted because of the children’s needs rather than their own.
Monica: While we were waiting for André’s birth, of course we knew very little about him, and our family and friends said, “You don’t know the baby’s color, or whether the child will be born healthy or with many problems.” We replied that our own children could just as easily be born with problems and that if this baby needed our help we would offer it. I don’t see how people can base their decision about whether or not to adopt a child upon its beauty or health.
Windhorse: What about your older children?
Monica: While we were working with the children in Rio de Janeiro, we formed very close relationships with four of the teenagers—three boys and one girl. When we decided to move to Três Coroas to be near Rinpoche, we had adopted only André and Laura, but the four older kids were very unhappy about being left behind. In our hearts we knew that if we left them there they would go back to the streets and have no chance in life, so we decided to bring them here. Soon after deciding this, we realized that we might need to find other work because it would be difficult to support six children on our retirement income. When we telephoned Rinpoche to tell him that we might not be able to move to Três Coroas because of this, he told us not to worry, to come anyway, that if we needed help he would help us. If we needed a place to stay we could stay with him. As it turned out that was not necessary, but we were very grateful for, and touched by, his offer.
When they first came to us, these children didn’t know anything about simple hygiene such as using toilets or taking a shower. They moved here in December and we knew they were Christians, so we decorated a tree for them. But they didn’t know what it was—they used it for hanging up their clothes.
Trajano: It was like they came from another planet. They had never lived in a house with more than one room. A month would go by before they changed their clothes or showered. And what made it even more difficult was that they were not young children. They had lived on the streets and had been involved in gangs that stole cars, and robbed and assaulted people. We had no idea what would happen in our home with André, Laura, and Monica while I was away at work, but for some time everything was good. We made great efforts to keep them here. Unfortunately, after a while they wanted to leave because here there were rules. They missed the pleasures of the streets such as getting food without working and not having to go to school, and that made it impossible to keep them here with us.
Monica: After five months, two of the boys decided to go back. The third had to leave because he was stealing knives, putting stones above the doors, taking money, and lying to us. Trajano took all three boys back to Rio and made sure they were settled in good situations. Since then, we have heard from all of them. They are not on the streets. They are working and studying, but when they turn eighteen they have to go back to the streets, and because they are behind in their schooling, we worry about what will happen to them.
Trajano: Priscilla, the girl, is 17. She wants to stay with us, but her mother wants her back. In fact, just yesterday I received word from a judge in Rio de Janeiro demanding that we send her back. The last time Priscilla visited her mother she was forced to rob a supermarket with her. Last February, while Monica was attending the Dzogchen retreat and I was alone with the children, this woman, who carries weapons, came to our home, on the run from a drug chief. She refused to leave. It was extremely difficult for Monica knowing that she was in the house with the children. There were a few very intense days before I was finally able to put her on a bus back to Rio.
Windhorse: Has the Khadro Ling sangha been supportive of your family?
Monica: Yes, they have been. But the sangha is not used to having children around. We understand this, because before we had our own, we didn’t have much patience with children.
Trajano: We try to make everyone happy. I believe the kids need to come here, even if they are a little disruptive, because it’s very important for them to be around the dharma and see people practicing. We try to make it fun for them without bothering too many people.
The other day André asked me, “Why do we use a disinfectant to clean the floor?” and I answered, “To kill bacteria.” He said, “No, you can’t say you are killing bacteria. You can say you are chasing them away but don’t say that you are killing them. Remember your karma.”
Monica: They like the dharma so much. In our home when we see a dead animal, even as small as a mosquito, we have a funeral. We pray and recite mantra, and I ex- plain to them what we are doing. I often see them praying for animals they have found. When they see people fishing, they pray for the people and the fish. These children are experiencing a very different life now, and it is inspiring to see the changes in them. When we argue with them or say something harsh, they say, “Your karma is going very bad, because you are making me suffer.” It is good to be reminded by them.
Windhorse: You have both been helping with the lha khang construction as well as with accounts and sewing projects at Khadro Ling. What other work are you responsible for within Chagdud Gonpa Brasil?
Trajano: At present, I am the treasurer, and Rinpoche has asked us to become involved with two other projects. The first is to coordinate Mahakaruna in Brazil, which will involve finding Brazilian sponsors for Buddhist practitioners in Asia.
Windhorse: Is it customary for Brazilians to offer this kind of support?
Trajano: No. It is very hard to get people to help. When we worked in the institution in Rio, we survived on donations, which was very difficult. No one wanted to help. The things people donated were in such poor condition that they were almost unusable. Ninety-two percent of the money the institution received came from other countries, mostly European. We had a strong marketing plan and media coverage, but even so, it was extremely difficult to raise money because, as I said, Brazil doesn’t have a tradition of making donations to charitable causes. Besides, no one really trusts these institutions because, unfortunately, many of them are poorly managed or corrupt. Our other work is a social program called “Harmonia” that Rinpoche has asked us to develop in order to help the community around Khadro Ling. We hope to create a place where people of all ages can come for free medical and dental care, as well as professional advice about proper land use and how to make an income from the land. Illiteracy is widespread among poor rural adults, so an important aspect of the project would be teaching them to read and write. Many young people leave the rural areas for the cities, only to find marginal living situations where they must become prostitutes or thieves in order to survive. We want to help them stay in the country. This program is being developed in association with Três Coroas City Hall and a government department called Emater. The prefecture has given us the use of a vacant school in town for the project. Monica hopes to work with both women and children, providing the women with information about the proper care of babies, as well as about drug abuse, birth control, and disease prevention. We would also like to teach art to the children. We have asked doctors and other skilled persons within the sangha if they will volunteer once or twice a week to help get the project started. The Harmonia project takes a somewhat different approach than most Buddhist organizations. Traditionally, there has not been much focus in these organizations on social projects and issues. But Rinpoche believes that such efforts can truly benefit the many poor people in Brazil. Harmonia can also be a doorway to Buddhism for individuals who make a spiritual connection through the project. Monica: We know that this isn’t the most important thing we can do for people who are suffering. The dharma is the best we can offer them, because only the dharma will benefit them on an ultimate level and completely free them from their suffering. But we can also benefit beings on a more relative level as we do through this project. Making this kind of offering is our dharma practice.
In this issue, the Windhorse begins a series of interviews with sangha members sharing their experiences of integrating the dharma into their lives. Our first interview features a Brazilian couple, of the Khadro Ling sangha, whose pure-heartedness has deeply impressed their fellow practitioners. Monica and Trajano Arantes de Oliveira met Rinpoche in 1992 while attending a workshop in Belo Horizonte. Before that, they had been very interested in Buddhism but had found little opportunity to learn anything about it. For some time they worked as project coordinators at a home for abused and homeless children in Rio de Janeiro. They presently make their home near Khadro Ling with their children, Priscilla, André, and Laura.
Windhorse: How did you first get involved with the homeless children?
Trajano: While we were living in Belo Horizonte, we heard about an Austrian-based institution in Rio that cared for abandoned children, and when we applied for jobs there, they asked us to move to Rio to become project coordinators. In Rio de Janeiro there are many favelas (slums) where the very poor live. One favela is the size of a city; 600,000 people live there. The drug chiefs of the favelas, called trafficants, are very powerful people; they decide everything within their jurisdiction. It is impossible for either the police or the army to even get into certain favelas. These are very dangerous places. There is constant fighting, with people shot every day. When we first arrived in Rio, we often heard gunshots from fights between the police and the drug traffickers, and we became very frightened. We never imagined that people lived like this, or that we would ever find ourselves living in such a place. Often I had to go to the favelas in the middle of the night to rescue children from violent situations like being burned by cigarettes, being tied up for days, or seeing their mother killed by the man she lived with. We couldn’t even get into these places without the chief trafficant’s permission. It was dangerous to go there, but fortunately nothing bad ever happened to us.
It was very inspiring to work with the children. The situation was unique in that we lived inside the project with the children. The project community was made up of several houses with a housemother and group of children in each. When the children would first arrive, we were often moved to tears seeing how neglected and abused they had been. But in time, with love, they became healthy and happy. Seeing this happen to the children was what made the work so rewarding for us. Monica also coordinated a school where pediatricians and psychologists trained the women who took care of them.
Monica: The day Rinpoche visited the children was very beautiful. Usually they were wild—it was impossible to get them to sit still or keep quiet. But when Rinpoche was there, the children sat very quietly and listened. He spoke to them for more than two hours, telling stories. He taught them how to recite mantra and told them that if they were afraid of something, they should pray to Tara.
The children often asked about Rinpoche after that. We tried introducing other religious teachers to them, because we felt it was important for them to have some spiritual connection, but the only person they really liked, who was warm and loving and gave them the attention they needed, was Rinpoche.
Windhorse: What about your own children?
Monica: After being together for five years Trajano and I still hadn’t had children, so I decided to see a doctor. After I had made this decision, a friend of ours mentioned that she knew of a woman who was pregnant but did not want to keep her child. This woman had already given away four of her children and had aborted four others, so this was her ninth. Our friend asked us if we wanted the baby. At the time, I was still intent on finding out why I had never gotten pregnant. Also, my mother was dying of cancer and I wanted to be with her. For these reasons I told the friend we were not interested. But later, when I spoke with Trajano about it, we realized that we might be closing the door on someone who needed us and we decided to take the child. That first child was André, and a couple of years later we adopted Laura. I never went back to the doctor to see whether I had a problem. Adoption has been so fantastic for us that we have decided to have children only in this way.
Windhorse: Is adoption a common practice in Brazil?
Trajano: No, it isn’t, and if people do adopt, they usually want children who look just like they do so that no one knows the children are adopted. In the institution where we worked, most Brazilians interested in adopting wanted beautiful, white babies. Adoptions by people from abroad, especially Europeans, were much more common, and the adoptive parents didn’t care about the children’s age, color, or gender. They adopted because of the children’s needs rather than their own.
Monica: While we were waiting for André’s birth, of course we knew very little about him, and our family and friends said, “You don’t know the baby’s color, or whether the child will be born healthy or with many problems.” We replied that our own children could just as easily be born with problems and that if this baby needed our help we would offer it. I don’t see how people can base their decision about whether or not to adopt a child upon its beauty or health.
Windhorse: What about your older children?
Monica: While we were working with the children in Rio de Janeiro, we formed very close relationships with four of the teenagers—three boys and one girl. When we decided to move to Três Coroas to be near Rinpoche, we had adopted only André and Laura, but the four older kids were very unhappy about being left behind. In our hearts we knew that if we left them there they would go back to the streets and have no chance in life, so we decided to bring them here. Soon after deciding this, we realized that we might need to find other work because it would be difficult to support six children on our retirement income. When we telephoned Rinpoche to tell him that we might not be able to move to Três Coroas because of this, he told us not to worry, to come anyway, that if we needed help he would help us. If we needed a place to stay we could stay with him. As it turned out that was not necessary, but we were very grateful for, and touched by, his offer.
When they first came to us, these children didn’t know anything about simple hygiene such as using toilets or taking a shower. They moved here in December and we knew they were Christians, so we decorated a tree for them. But they didn’t know what it was—they used it for hanging up their clothes.
Trajano: It was like they came from another planet. They had never lived in a house with more than one room. A month would go by before they changed their clothes or showered. And what made it even more difficult was that they were not young children. They had lived on the streets and had been involved in gangs that stole cars, and robbed and assaulted people. We had no idea what would happen in our home with André, Laura, and Monica while I was away at work, but for some time everything was good. We made great efforts to keep them here. Unfortunately, after a while they wanted to leave because here there were rules. They missed the pleasures of the streets such as getting food without working and not having to go to school, and that made it impossible to keep them here with us.
Monica: After five months, two of the boys decided to go back. The third had to leave because he was stealing knives, putting stones above the doors, taking money, and lying to us. Trajano took all three boys back to Rio and made sure they were settled in good situations. Since then, we have heard from all of them. They are not on the streets. They are working and studying, but when they turn eighteen they have to go back to the streets, and because they are behind in their schooling, we worry about what will happen to them.
Trajano: Priscilla, the girl, is 17. She wants to stay with us, but her mother wants her back. In fact, just yesterday I received word from a judge in Rio de Janeiro demanding that we send her back. The last time Priscilla visited her mother she was forced to rob a supermarket with her. Last February, while Monica was attending the Dzogchen retreat and I was alone with the children, this woman, who carries weapons, came to our home, on the run from a drug chief. She refused to leave. It was extremely difficult for Monica knowing that she was in the house with the children. There were a few very intense days before I was finally able to put her on a bus back to Rio.
Windhorse: Has the Khadro Ling sangha been supportive of your family?
Monica: Yes, they have been. But the sangha is not used to having children around. We understand this, because before we had our own, we didn’t have much patience with children.
Trajano: We try to make everyone happy. I believe the kids need to come here, even if they are a little disruptive, because it’s very important for them to be around the dharma and see people practicing. We try to make it fun for them without bothering too many people.
The other day André asked me, “Why do we use a disinfectant to clean the floor?” and I answered, “To kill bacteria.” He said, “No, you can’t say you are killing bacteria. You can say you are chasing them away but don’t say that you are killing them. Remember your karma.”
Monica: They like the dharma so much. In our home when we see a dead animal, even as small as a mosquito, we have a funeral. We pray and recite mantra, and I ex- plain to them what we are doing. I often see them praying for animals they have found. When they see people fishing, they pray for the people and the fish. These children are experiencing a very different life now, and it is inspiring to see the changes in them. When we argue with them or say something harsh, they say, “Your karma is going very bad, because you are making me suffer.” It is good to be reminded by them.
Windhorse: You have both been helping with the lha khang construction as well as with accounts and sewing projects at Khadro Ling. What other work are you responsible for within Chagdud Gonpa Brasil?
Trajano: At present, I am the treasurer, and Rinpoche has asked us to become involved with two other projects. The first is to coordinate Mahakaruna in Brazil, which will involve finding Brazilian sponsors for Buddhist practitioners in Asia.
Windhorse: Is it customary for Brazilians to offer this kind of support?
Trajano: No. It is very hard to get people to help. When we worked in the institution in Rio, we survived on donations, which was very difficult. No one wanted to help. The things people donated were in such poor condition that they were almost unusable. Ninety-two percent of the money the institution received came from other countries, mostly European. We had a strong marketing plan and media coverage, but even so, it was extremely difficult to raise money because, as I said, Brazil doesn’t have a tradition of making donations to charitable causes. Besides, no one really trusts these institutions because, unfortunately, many of them are poorly managed or corrupt. Our other work is a social program called “Harmonia” that Rinpoche has asked us to develop in order to help the community around Khadro Ling. We hope to create a place where people of all ages can come for free medical and dental care, as well as professional advice about proper land use and how to make an income from the land. Illiteracy is widespread among poor rural adults, so an important aspect of the project would be teaching them to read and write. Many young people leave the rural areas for the cities, only to find marginal living situations where they must become prostitutes or thieves in order to survive. We want to help them stay in the country. This program is being developed in association with Três Coroas City Hall and a government department called Emater. The prefecture has given us the use of a vacant school in town for the project. Monica hopes to work with both women and children, providing the women with information about the proper care of babies, as well as about drug abuse, birth control, and disease prevention. We would also like to teach art to the children. We have asked doctors and other skilled persons within the sangha if they will volunteer once or twice a week to help get the project started. The Harmonia project takes a somewhat different approach than most Buddhist organizations. Traditionally, there has not been much focus in these organizations on social projects and issues. But Rinpoche believes that such efforts can truly benefit the many poor people in Brazil. Harmonia can also be a doorway to Buddhism for individuals who make a spiritual connection through the project. Monica: We know that this isn’t the most important thing we can do for people who are suffering. The dharma is the best we can offer them, because only the dharma will benefit them on an ultimate level and completely free them from their suffering. But we can also benefit beings on a more relative level as we do through this project. Making this kind of offering is our dharma practice.
In this issue, the Windhorse begins a series of interviews with sangha members sharing their experiences of integrating the dharma into their lives. Our first interview features a Brazilian couple, of the Khadro Ling sangha, whose pure-heartedness has deeply impressed their fellow practitioners. Monica and Trajano Arantes de Oliveira met Rinpoche in 1992 while attending a workshop in Belo Horizonte. Before that, they had been very interested in Buddhism but had found little opportunity to learn anything about it. For some time they worked as project coordinators at a home for abused and homeless children in Rio de Janeiro. They presently make their home near Khadro Ling with their children, Priscilla, André, and Laura.
Windhorse: How did you first get involved with the homeless children?
Trajano: While we were living in Belo Horizonte, we heard about an Austrian-based institution in Rio that cared for abandoned children, and when we applied for jobs there, they asked us to move to Rio to become project coordinators. In Rio de Janeiro there are many favelas (slums) where the very poor live. One favela is the size of a city; 600,000 people live there. The drug chiefs of the favelas, called trafficants, are very powerful people; they decide everything within their jurisdiction. It is impossible for either the police or the army to even get into certain favelas. These are very dangerous places. There is constant fighting, with people shot every day. When we first arrived in Rio, we often heard gunshots from fights between the police and the drug traffickers, and we became very frightened. We never imagined that people lived like this, or that we would ever find ourselves living in such a place. Often I had to go to the favelas in the middle of the night to rescue children from violent situations like being burned by cigarettes, being tied up for days, or seeing their mother killed by the man she lived with. We couldn’t even get into these places without the chief trafficant’s permission. It was dangerous to go there, but fortunately nothing bad ever happened to us.
It was very inspiring to work with the children. The situation was unique in that we lived inside the project with the children. The project community was made up of several houses with a housemother and group of children in each. When the children would first arrive, we were often moved to tears seeing how neglected and abused they had been. But in time, with love, they became healthy and happy. Seeing this happen to the children was what made the work so rewarding for us. Monica also coordinated a school where pediatricians and psychologists trained the women who took care of them.
Monica: The day Rinpoche visited the children was very beautiful. Usually they were wild—it was impossible to get them to sit still or keep quiet. But when Rinpoche was there, the children sat very quietly and listened. He spoke to them for more than two hours, telling stories. He taught them how to recite mantra and told them that if they were afraid of something, they should pray to Tara.
The children often asked about Rinpoche after that. We tried introducing other religious teachers to them, because we felt it was important for them to have some spiritual connection, but the only person they really liked, who was warm and loving and gave them the attention they needed, was Rinpoche.
Windhorse: What about your own children?
Monica: After being together for five years Trajano and I still hadn’t had children, so I decided to see a doctor. After I had made this decision, a friend of ours mentioned that she knew of a woman who was pregnant but did not want to keep her child. This woman had already given away four of her children and had aborted four others, so this was her ninth. Our friend asked us if we wanted the baby. At the time, I was still intent on finding out why I had never gotten pregnant. Also, my mother was dying of cancer and I wanted to be with her. For these reasons I told the friend we were not interested. But later, when I spoke with Trajano about it, we realized that we might be closing the door on someone who needed us and we decided to take the child. That first child was André, and a couple of years later we adopted Laura. I never went back to the doctor to see whether I had a problem. Adoption has been so fantastic for us that we have decided to have children only in this way.
Windhorse: Is adoption a common practice in Brazil?
Trajano: No, it isn’t, and if people do adopt, they usually want children who look just like they do so that no one knows the children are adopted. In the institution where we worked, most Brazilians interested in adopting wanted beautiful, white babies. Adoptions by people from abroad, especially Europeans, were much more common, and the adoptive parents didn’t care about the children’s age, color, or gender. They adopted because of the children’s needs rather than their own.
Monica: While we were waiting for André’s birth, of course we knew very little about him, and our family and friends said, “You don’t know the baby’s color, or whether the child will be born healthy or with many problems.” We replied that our own children could just as easily be born with problems and that if this baby needed our help we would offer it. I don’t see how people can base their decision about whether or not to adopt a child upon its beauty or health.
Windhorse: What about your older children?
Monica: While we were working with the children in Rio de Janeiro, we formed very close relationships with four of the teenagers—three boys and one girl. When we decided to move to Três Coroas to be near Rinpoche, we had adopted only André and Laura, but the four older kids were very unhappy about being left behind. In our hearts we knew that if we left them there they would go back to the streets and have no chance in life, so we decided to bring them here. Soon after deciding this, we realized that we might need to find other work because it would be difficult to support six children on our retirement income. When we telephoned Rinpoche to tell him that we might not be able to move to Três Coroas because of this, he told us not to worry, to come anyway, that if we needed help he would help us. If we needed a place to stay we could stay with him. As it turned out that was not necessary, but we were very grateful for, and touched by, his offer.
When they first came to us, these children didn’t know anything about simple hygiene such as using toilets or taking a shower. They moved here in December and we knew they were Christians, so we decorated a tree for them. But they didn’t know what it was—they used it for hanging up their clothes.
Trajano: It was like they came from another planet. They had never lived in a house with more than one room. A month would go by before they changed their clothes or showered. And what made it even more difficult was that they were not young children. They had lived on the streets and had been involved in gangs that stole cars, and robbed and assaulted people. We had no idea what would happen in our home with André, Laura, and Monica while I was away at work, but for some time everything was good. We made great efforts to keep them here. Unfortunately, after a while they wanted to leave because here there were rules. They missed the pleasures of the streets such as getting food without working and not having to go to school, and that made it impossible to keep them here with us.
Monica: After five months, two of the boys decided to go back. The third had to leave because he was stealing knives, putting stones above the doors, taking money, and lying to us. Trajano took all three boys back to Rio and made sure they were settled in good situations. Since then, we have heard from all of them. They are not on the streets. They are working and studying, but when they turn eighteen they have to go back to the streets, and because they are behind in their schooling, we worry about what will happen to them.
Trajano: Priscilla, the girl, is 17. She wants to stay with us, but her mother wants her back. In fact, just yesterday I received word from a judge in Rio de Janeiro demanding that we send her back. The last time Priscilla visited her mother she was forced to rob a supermarket with her. Last February, while Monica was attending the Dzogchen retreat and I was alone with the children, this woman, who carries weapons, came to our home, on the run from a drug chief. She refused to leave. It was extremely difficult for Monica knowing that she was in the house with the children. There were a few very intense days before I was finally able to put her on a bus back to Rio.
Windhorse: Has the Khadro Ling sangha been supportive of your family?
Monica: Yes, they have been. But the sangha is not used to having children around. We understand this, because before we had our own, we didn’t have much patience with children.
Trajano: We try to make everyone happy. I believe the kids need to come here, even if they are a little disruptive, because it’s very important for them to be around the dharma and see people practicing. We try to make it fun for them without bothering too many people.
The other day André asked me, “Why do we use a disinfectant to clean the floor?” and I answered, “To kill bacteria.” He said, “No, you can’t say you are killing bacteria. You can say you are chasing them away but don’t say that you are killing them. Remember your karma.”
Monica: They like the dharma so much. In our home when we see a dead animal, even as small as a mosquito, we have a funeral. We pray and recite mantra, and I ex- plain to them what we are doing. I often see them praying for animals they have found. When they see people fishing, they pray for the people and the fish. These children are experiencing a very different life now, and it is inspiring to see the changes in them. When we argue with them or say something harsh, they say, “Your karma is going very bad, because you are making me suffer.” It is good to be reminded by them.
Windhorse: You have both been helping with the lha khang construction as well as with accounts and sewing projects at Khadro Ling. What other work are you responsible for within Chagdud Gonpa Brasil?
Trajano: At present, I am the treasurer, and Rinpoche has asked us to become involved with two other projects. The first is to coordinate Mahakaruna in Brazil, which will involve finding Brazilian sponsors for Buddhist practitioners in Asia.
Windhorse: Is it customary for Brazilians to offer this kind of support?
Trajano: No. It is very hard to get people to help. When we worked in the institution in Rio, we survived on donations, which was very difficult. No one wanted to help. The things people donated were in such poor condition that they were almost unusable. Ninety-two percent of the money the institution received came from other countries, mostly European. We had a strong marketing plan and media coverage, but even so, it was extremely difficult to raise money because, as I said, Brazil doesn’t have a tradition of making donations to charitable causes. Besides, no one really trusts these institutions because, unfortunately, many of them are poorly managed or corrupt. Our other work is a social program called “Harmonia” that Rinpoche has asked us to develop in order to help the community around Khadro Ling. We hope to create a place where people of all ages can come for free medical and dental care, as well as professional advice about proper land use and how to make an income from the land. Illiteracy is widespread among poor rural adults, so an important aspect of the project would be teaching them to read and write. Many young people leave the rural areas for the cities, only to find marginal living situations where they must become prostitutes or thieves in order to survive. We want to help them stay in the country. This program is being developed in association with Três Coroas City Hall and a government department called Emater. The prefecture has given us the use of a vacant school in town for the project. Monica hopes to work with both women and children, providing the women with information about the proper care of babies, as well as about drug abuse, birth control, and disease prevention. We would also like to teach art to the children. We have asked doctors and other skilled persons within the sangha if they will volunteer once or twice a week to help get the project started. The Harmonia project takes a somewhat different approach than most Buddhist organizations. Traditionally, there has not been much focus in these organizations on social projects and issues. But Rinpoche believes that such efforts can truly benefit the many poor people in Brazil. Harmonia can also be a doorway to Buddhism for individuals who make a spiritual connection through the project. Monica: We know that this isn’t the most important thing we can do for people who are suffering. The dharma is the best we can offer them, because only the dharma will benefit them on an ultimate level and completely free them from their suffering. But we can also benefit beings on a more relative level as we do through this project. Making this kind of offering is our dharma practice.
In this issue, the Windhorse begins a series of interviews with sangha members sharing their experiences of integrating the dharma into their lives. Our first interview features a Brazilian couple, of the Khadro Ling sangha, whose pure-heartedness has deeply impressed their fellow practitioners. Monica and Trajano Arantes de Oliveira met Rinpoche in 1992 while attending a workshop in Belo Horizonte. Before that, they had been very interested in Buddhism but had found little opportunity to learn anything about it. For some time they worked as project coordinators at a home for abused and homeless children in Rio de Janeiro. They presently make their home near Khadro Ling with their children, Priscilla, André, and Laura.
Windhorse: How did you first get involved with the homeless children?
Trajano: While we were living in Belo Horizonte, we heard about an Austrian-based institution in Rio that cared for abandoned children, and when we applied for jobs there, they asked us to move to Rio to become project coordinators. In Rio de Janeiro there are many favelas (slums) where the very poor live. One favela is the size of a city; 600,000 people live there. The drug chiefs of the favelas, called trafficants, are very powerful people; they decide everything within their jurisdiction. It is impossible for either the police or the army to even get into certain favelas. These are very dangerous places. There is constant fighting, with people shot every day. When we first arrived in Rio, we often heard gunshots from fights between the police and the drug traffickers, and we became very frightened. We never imagined that people lived like this, or that we would ever find ourselves living in such a place. Often I had to go to the favelas in the middle of the night to rescue children from violent situations like being burned by cigarettes, being tied up for days, or seeing their mother killed by the man she lived with. We couldn’t even get into these places without the chief trafficant’s permission. It was dangerous to go there, but fortunately nothing bad ever happened to us.
It was very inspiring to work with the children. The situation was unique in that we lived inside the project with the children. The project community was made up of several houses with a housemother and group of children in each. When the children would first arrive, we were often moved to tears seeing how neglected and abused they had been. But in time, with love, they became healthy and happy. Seeing this happen to the children was what made the work so rewarding for us. Monica also coordinated a school where pediatricians and psychologists trained the women who took care of them.
Monica: The day Rinpoche visited the children was very beautiful. Usually they were wild—it was impossible to get them to sit still or keep quiet. But when Rinpoche was there, the children sat very quietly and listened. He spoke to them for more than two hours, telling stories. He taught them how to recite mantra and told them that if they were afraid of something, they should pray to Tara.
The children often asked about Rinpoche after that. We tried introducing other religious teachers to them, because we felt it was important for them to have some spiritual connection, but the only person they really liked, who was warm and loving and gave them the attention they needed, was Rinpoche.
Windhorse: What about your own children?
Monica: After being together for five years Trajano and I still hadn’t had children, so I decided to see a doctor. After I had made this decision, a friend of ours mentioned that she knew of a woman who was pregnant but did not want to keep her child. This woman had already given away four of her children and had aborted four others, so this was her ninth. Our friend asked us if we wanted the baby. At the time, I was still intent on finding out why I had never gotten pregnant. Also, my mother was dying of cancer and I wanted to be with her. For these reasons I told the friend we were not interested. But later, when I spoke with Trajano about it, we realized that we might be closing the door on someone who needed us and we decided to take the child. That first child was André, and a couple of years later we adopted Laura. I never went back to the doctor to see whether I had a problem. Adoption has been so fantastic for us that we have decided to have children only in this way.
Windhorse: Is adoption a common practice in Brazil?
Trajano: No, it isn’t, and if people do adopt, they usually want children who look just like they do so that no one knows the children are adopted. In the institution where we worked, most Brazilians interested in adopting wanted beautiful, white babies. Adoptions by people from abroad, especially Europeans, were much more common, and the adoptive parents didn’t care about the children’s age, color, or gender. They adopted because of the children’s needs rather than their own.
Monica: While we were waiting for André’s birth, of course we knew very little about him, and our family and friends said, “You don’t know the baby’s color, or whether the child will be born healthy or with many problems.” We replied that our own children could just as easily be born with problems and that if this baby needed our help we would offer it. I don’t see how people can base their decision about whether or not to adopt a child upon its beauty or health.
Windhorse: What about your older children?
Monica: While we were working with the children in Rio de Janeiro, we formed very close relationships with four of the teenagers—three boys and one girl. When we decided to move to Três Coroas to be near Rinpoche, we had adopted only André and Laura, but the four older kids were very unhappy about being left behind. In our hearts we knew that if we left them there they would go back to the streets and have no chance in life, so we decided to bring them here. Soon after deciding this, we realized that we might need to find other work because it would be difficult to support six children on our retirement income. When we telephoned Rinpoche to tell him that we might not be able to move to Três Coroas because of this, he told us not to worry, to come anyway, that if we needed help he would help us. If we needed a place to stay we could stay with him. As it turned out that was not necessary, but we were very grateful for, and touched by, his offer.
When they first came to us, these children didn’t know anything about simple hygiene such as using toilets or taking a shower. They moved here in December and we knew they were Christians, so we decorated a tree for them. But they didn’t know what it was—they used it for hanging up their clothes.
Trajano: It was like they came from another planet. They had never lived in a house with more than one room. A month would go by before they changed their clothes or showered. And what made it even more difficult was that they were not young children. They had lived on the streets and had been involved in gangs that stole cars, and robbed and assaulted people. We had no idea what would happen in our home with André, Laura, and Monica while I was away at work, but for some time everything was good. We made great efforts to keep them here. Unfortunately, after a while they wanted to leave because here there were rules. They missed the pleasures of the streets such as getting food without working and not having to go to school, and that made it impossible to keep them here with us.
Monica: After five months, two of the boys decided to go back. The third had to leave because he was stealing knives, putting stones above the doors, taking money, and lying to us. Trajano took all three boys back to Rio and made sure they were settled in good situations. Since then, we have heard from all of them. They are not on the streets. They are working and studying, but when they turn eighteen they have to go back to the streets, and because they are behind in their schooling, we worry about what will happen to them.
Trajano: Priscilla, the girl, is 17. She wants to stay with us, but her mother wants her back. In fact, just yesterday I received word from a judge in Rio de Janeiro demanding that we send her back. The last time Priscilla visited her mother she was forced to rob a supermarket with her. Last February, while Monica was attending the Dzogchen retreat and I was alone with the children, this woman, who carries weapons, came to our home, on the run from a drug chief. She refused to leave. It was extremely difficult for Monica knowing that she was in the house with the children. There were a few very intense days before I was finally able to put her on a bus back to Rio.
Windhorse: Has the Khadro Ling sangha been supportive of your family?
Monica: Yes, they have been. But the sangha is not used to having children around. We understand this, because before we had our own, we didn’t have much patience with children.
Trajano: We try to make everyone happy. I believe the kids need to come here, even if they are a little disruptive, because it’s very important for them to be around the dharma and see people practicing. We try to make it fun for them without bothering too many people.
The other day André asked me, “Why do we use a disinfectant to clean the floor?” and I answered, “To kill bacteria.” He said, “No, you can’t say you are killing bacteria. You can say you are chasing them away but don’t say that you are killing them. Remember your karma.”
Monica: They like the dharma so much. In our home when we see a dead animal, even as small as a mosquito, we have a funeral. We pray and recite mantra, and I ex- plain to them what we are doing. I often see them praying for animals they have found. When they see people fishing, they pray for the people and the fish. These children are experiencing a very different life now, and it is inspiring to see the changes in them. When we argue with them or say something harsh, they say, “Your karma is going very bad, because you are making me suffer.” It is good to be reminded by them.
Windhorse: You have both been helping with the lha khang construction as well as with accounts and sewing projects at Khadro Ling. What other work are you responsible for within Chagdud Gonpa Brasil?
Trajano: At present, I am the treasurer, and Rinpoche has asked us to become involved with two other projects. The first is to coordinate Mahakaruna in Brazil, which will involve finding Brazilian sponsors for Buddhist practitioners in Asia.
Windhorse: Is it customary for Brazilians to offer this kind of support?
Trajano: No. It is very hard to get people to help. When we worked in the institution in Rio, we survived on donations, which was very difficult. No one wanted to help. The things people donated were in such poor condition that they were almost unusable. Ninety-two percent of the money the institution received came from other countries, mostly European. We had a strong marketing plan and media coverage, but even so, it was extremely difficult to raise money because, as I said, Brazil doesn’t have a tradition of making donations to charitable causes. Besides, no one really trusts these institutions because, unfortunately, many of them are poorly managed or corrupt. Our other work is a social program called “Harmonia” that Rinpoche has asked us to develop in order to help the community around Khadro Ling. We hope to create a place where people of all ages can come for free medical and dental care, as well as professional advice about proper land use and how to make an income from the land. Illiteracy is widespread among poor rural adults, so an important aspect of the project would be teaching them to read and write. Many young people leave the rural areas for the cities, only to find marginal living situations where they must become prostitutes or thieves in order to survive. We want to help them stay in the country. This program is being developed in association with Três Coroas City Hall and a government department called Emater. The prefecture has given us the use of a vacant school in town for the project. Monica hopes to work with both women and children, providing the women with information about the proper care of babies, as well as about drug abuse, birth control, and disease prevention. We would also like to teach art to the children. We have asked doctors and other skilled persons within the sangha if they will volunteer once or twice a week to help get the project started. The Harmonia project takes a somewhat different approach than most Buddhist organizations. Traditionally, there has not been much focus in these organizations on social projects and issues. But Rinpoche believes that such efforts can truly benefit the many poor people in Brazil. Harmonia can also be a doorway to Buddhism for individuals who make a spiritual connection through the project. Monica: We know that this isn’t the most important thing we can do for people who are suffering. The dharma is the best we can offer them, because only the dharma will benefit them on an ultimate level and completely free them from their suffering. But we can also benefit beings on a more relative level as we do through this project. Making this kind of offering is our dharma practice.
